In an effort to get Mallory to stay in Sunday School through the whole service I told her that if she stayed the whole time a friend could come over and play. She ran right into class and didn’t have a hard time at all. After church she said she had a good time. So, we invited a friend over.
I was thinking later if I was doing the right thing by bribing her to stay. I have spoken to other mom’s and they have also resorted to bribing to get there kids to do an assortment of things.
How can bribery be that bad. She gets what she wants and I get what I want. It can only be a win, win situation. Right?
I googled bribing kids. Over 1,690,000 links came up. From bribing to eat to bribing them to get good grades to having better behavior. Apparently the ‘experts’ say that bribing is harmful to your kids. What? No, it can’t be harmful. How can her getting what she wants and me getting what I want be bad?
They say that it teaches them that they can’t be good without a prize. They will develop a sense of entitlement. They say to use a reward system instead of a bribe. Well, isn’t that what a bribe is? You get a reward of something you want for the good behavior?
The examples they use are things like if your child is throwing a tantrum don’t offer them ice cream as a bribe to get them to stop. Well, if my child is throwing a tantrum and we are in public, we are going home. I am not going to negotiate with my 3 year old about if you stop crying you get ice cream.
Another example was telling your child you will buy them a pony as a bribe if they bring their grades up. Well, I don’t know a parent in my circle that would offer that or actually do it.
They say to do a reward system. If they do the desired behavior they get a reward like extra TV time, play a game with them or take them to the playground. Is that not the same thing as bribing?
So, I think I will continue to do my child like I always do. Rewarding her good behavior.
What do you think? I would love to hear.
Destiny knocked on Amy Thompson’s door in 2002 when little Mallory was placed in her arms. In 2003, Mallory’s adoption was finalized, thus allowing Amy and her husband to embark on a blessed journey into parenthood.
BRIBE!